As a Leader, how do you know how you are doing?

Since I am committed to continuous improvement, I collect feedback regularly from students in courses and at the end of every seminar I conduct.  If I am going to improve, I need to know how I am doing.  Leaders are used to giving feedback and performance appraisals.  But unless a 360 degree feedback system is used, they may not know how effective they are as leaders.  Jim Kouzes, author of Credibility and The Leadership Challenge, says that the one leadership behavior on which leaders score the lowers from their constituents' perspective is "S/he asks for feedback on how her/his actions affect other people's performance."  Leaders often lack the feedback they need to improve. 

How can we expect to improve if we are not regularly asking others for feedback?  Effective leaders are secure, confident, and want to improve and this takes the courage to ask others how we are doing.

Understanding Grief is a Leadership Skill

This week I was reminded of how painful the grieving process is.  One of our favorite former nannies was killed suddenly in a car accident at the age of 22.  She was an outstanding student, athlete, and person.  The loss is too much to believe.  The reality is that we grieve for the loss of her great future.  It has been hard for me to concentrate on work when it feels as if a knife has been stabbed in your heart.

Leaders need to understand the grieving process so that we can help our friends and colleagues through the process.  While we often associate death with grief, the grieving process takes place with many kinds of losses and people lose things in the workplace all of the time such as the loss of a promotion, job, or the marriage ends in divorce.  Helping people work through the process and understanding what they are going through or maybe just being there with them is what we need to do.  Our gift to them is in understanding as leaders that grieving is important and allowing them the time and space to do so is a critical leadership skill.

Do you have a best friend at work?

When I have to drive home from work at night, I often listen to the radio show Delilah on 104.5 that starts at 7:00 in the evening.  Her stories and songs keep me awake and the people who call in to her show keep me entertained.  In fact, I often wonder about these people who treat Delilah as their best friend.

In a recent sociology study of 1,467 adults, one-fourth of all American report that they have nobody to talk to about "important matters."  This study was a replica of one done 20 years ago and in two decades, the number of people who have no one to talk to has doubled.  I find this so fascinating since we live in a 24/7 world where people are constantly on their cell phones, Internet, Facebook, and can't be without their laptops.  My translation of all of this is that people seem to be connected, but they are feeling disconnected. 

Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman in their book First, Break All the Rules:  What the World's Greatest Managers Do Differently (Simon and Schuster, 1999), found that they can make strong predictions about how employees will perform in their workplaces by asking them 12 questions they cal the Q12.  The questions that I find interesting are:

• Does my supervisor. or someone at work, seem to care about me as a person?
• Is there someone at work who encourages my development?
• Do I have a best friend at work?

If people are feeling disconnected with no one in whom to confide and they don't have people at work who care about them, they are probably not going to perform at their best.  What this tells me is that leaders need to listen, care, and be part of the support system that people so desparately need to succeed.  Without this kind of servant leadership, people are left to call Delilah for the answers to their questions and problems. 

Are you what you do?

In the movie, About Schmidt, Warren Schmidt (played by Jack Nicholson) is an insurance executive who has just retired.  He has worked for the same company for decades and now does not know what to do with himself.  After I saw this movie, my summary was this:  If you are what you do and you don't do it anymore, then who are you?

For me, the movie motivated me to think about a new model of retirement called "sage-ing."  A sage wants to give back.  Warren wanted to give back and the young person who replaced him was not interested in Warren's advice or wisdom.  A sage is reflective and continues to learn.  Warren set out in a Winnebago to figure out what he wanted to do with this life.

If you are what you do, then we have fewer options and are less prepared for when we no longer "do it" for whatever reason.  The reason may be voluntary or involuntary, but we would all benefit from becoming a sage.

Retirement takes more than $$$$$

Listen to the ads for retirement planning and the focus is almost always on money.  Show me the money!  Yes, money is important and I would be naive to think otherwise.  But what I have learned in my research is that living a long and fulfilled life takes more than money.  Based on interviews with more than 40 leading authorities, I developed a holistic model that integrates our mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual sides and the time to start thinking about what we want to do with the rest of our lives is sooner rather than later.

Once the financial aspect is covered, we need to start thinking immediately about the other parts of our lives that add value.  We need our physical and mental health.  We need to use our creativity to make our lives more exciting for the future.  The legacy we leave is based on the life we live.  What will your legacy be?  Leaving a legacy takes more than money.

Why a bad boss contest?

You may have read about the bad boss contest by Working America (www.workingamerica.org) where people could submit their stories and winners are selected.  If you go to this site, you can read the stories and some seem too strange to be true.  In fact, you can take a quiz to find out how bad your boss really is. 

Many people think leadership and management is just common sense.  If this is true, then why is common sense not so common?  Why are there so many bad bosses? 

When I first read about this contest, I wondered what would happen if they had people share stories about good bosses.  Now they have a contest for just this.  You can submit good boss stories.  It will be interesting to see if they receive as many stories and if the stories can be summarized as using good common sense.

 

What is your title?

If your life was the title of a book, would anyone want to read it?  In leadership seminars, we talk about the importance of leaving a legacy and this is directly related to how we spend our time.  In this 24/7 world, it is easy to get caught up in being busy.  We are very busy, but are we spending our time with people and on projects that matter? 

It is more important than ever to be mindful and intentional about how we spend our time. 

• Do we have relationships that matter?
• Do we have someone we can call when we need them the most?
• Would people want to come to our funeral?

This weekend, I went to see the recently released French film called My Best Friend.  A co-worker challenges her successful business partner to prove that he has a "best friend."  During the whole movie, the main character is trying to find and then trying to develop an acquaintance into a best friend.  Time after time he comes up empty handed with no friend.  He also finds that the harder he tries to make friends, that he is not successful.  In fact, one of his associates reminds him that they make deals, but that they are not friends.

What is your legacy?  Does it matter?  In terms of leadership, would you follow you?  These are some powerful questions that might change our behaviors or how and with whom we spend our time--if we take the time to think about them.

Listening to Our Inner Voice

While there are many ways to listen to our inner voice, one way I have done this is to spend time at a monastery for a silent retreat.  For me, it is a spiritual experience where I make the time to listen to what I am thinking and to sort out my priorities in life.  If I am not comfortable with myself, then why would others be comfortable with me?

It is something I look forward to because of the rituals involving the monks.  They have given up worldly processions to live and practice their faith.  Their lives are simple, yet deep.  The time spent in a monastery is a cleansing and welcoming experience. Why is it so difficult to simplify our lives?  It sounds so simple to streamline and focus and yet so difficult to practice.  There are no answers, but the freedom and clarity that often accompanies this retreat is such a reward.

The Power of Silence

There is a plaque in my office with a poem dated 1692 called the Desiderata.  It begins like this:  "Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence."  In this 24/7 world in which we live and work, I find myself thinking about the power of silence.  One of the concepts I am weaving into my seminars is mindful meditation.  While many people think of meditation as a time to sit on the floor, cross their legs, and get into an almost sleep stage, it is really about finding time to be awake, alert, and pay attention.  It is a time when our full senses are alive and we don't miss a thing.  Silence helps us to listen to our inner voices and to what our body is telling us.  We can be more intuitive if we are listening to ourselves.  We need to find ways to capture the power of silence.

Photo on Flickr by robinyan

Telling the Story

According to Elizabeth Weil in an article in Fast Company, "in the new world of business, where it's every executive's job to make sense of a fast-changing environment, storytelling is the ultimate leadership tool."  Our local marketing guru, Drew McClellan, emphasizes the importance of storytelling as it relates to branding and he uses branding as an inclusive and holistic concept that is critical for success.

I have often said that if a company wants to change its culture, it needs to change the stories that are told within and outside of the company.  Since culture influences how people think, feel, and act, it is essential to pay attention to the culture. 

• Is it healthy or unhealthy? 
• Functional or dysfunctional? 
• Is it a place where people want to work?

For the International Center for Spirit at Work (ISAW), I have interviewed several executives at companies who have been recognized with an International Spirit at Work award.  One of the themes that emerged was the focus on the telling of stories--good stories--about the work being done in the organizations.  In fact, several companies have employees submit stories to be included in an annual internal publication.  They use the book in various ways such as leaving the book out in waiting areas or have someone read a story from the book at the start of a meeting. 

As the stories are read, shared, told, and retold, people start to hear the same messages that are important to the organization.  These messages get reinforced by the retelling of them.  It is a way for organizations to communicate how they should treat each other, how they are expected to treat customers, and what is important to the organization.  Well-told stories pull at our heartstrings and easier to remember.  The Heath brothers, authors of Made to Stick, would say that stories stick with us longer than any formal statements or bullets on a PowerPoint presentation. 

Take time to sit around the "campfire," share stories, and be mindful of one another.  Use this as a way of creating a place where people want to work.