Integrity--The Tripod

Integrity is critical for leaders and Warren Bennis has an interesting twist to this concept.  He tells us to view integrity of leaders as composed of three elements: 

• ambition (desire to achieve something),
• competence (expertise and mastery of skills), and
• moral compass (virtues that are part of the larger human community and the ability to differentiate between good and evil). 

Bennis says to think of ambition, competence, and your moral compass as three legs of a tripod that have to be kept in balance.  Too much of any one of the three elements tends to negatively influence integrity. The key is to know when things are out of balance. Since we are not perfect, we can make needed corrections to keep things in balance.

What is Neoteny?

In his book, Geeks and Geezers, Warren Bennis uses the term neoteny as a metaphor to describe something that geeks and geezers have in common.  The dictionary defines neoteny, a zoological term, as "the retention of youthful qualities by adults (p. 20).  Neoteny is more than retaining a youthful appearance, although that is part of it.  Neoteny is the retention of all those wonderful qualities that we associate with youth:  curiosity, playfulness, eagerness, fearlessness, warmth, and energy.  The Geezers in his study remain open, willing to take risks, hungry to knowledge and experience, courageous, eager to see what the new day brings.  Neoteny is a metaphor for the quality--the gift--that keeps the fortunate of whatever age focused on all the marvelous undiscovered things to come.  "The retention of youthful characteristics in adulthood, neoteny is an evolutionary engine.  It is the winning, puppyish quality of certain ancient wolves that allowed them to evolve into dogs.  Over thousands of years, humans favored those wolves that were the friendliest, the most approachable, the most curious, the least likely to attack without warning, the ones that readily locked eyes with humans and seemed almost human in their eager response to people; the ones, in short, that stayed the most like puppies" (p. 151). 

For sages, neoteny is important.  Bennis found that it is the essential quality that recruits others and cultivates social interactions.  Often confused with charisma, neoteny was the almost magical quality that draws people to older, lifetime leaders, helping to insure that they have a constituency and a stage (p. 163).  May we all seek to live life with neoteny. 

Every one of the geezers in the study by Bennis was a neotenic someone whose vigor and openness to new experience marks him or her as the antithesis of stereotyped old age.  Bennis realized that neoteny is also a useful metaphor for the vibrancy that characterized the younger leaders as well.  To a person, they too are full of energy, full of curiosity, full of confidence that the world is a place of wonders spread before them like an endless feast (p. 120).

The capacity for "uncontaminated wonder," ultimately is what distinguishes the successful from the ordinary, the happily engaged players of whatever era from the chronically disappointed and malcontent (p. 21).

The Secret

It seems as if everyone is willing to share secrets with us these days. The Secret, the popular book that continues to dominate the best selling lists shared “the secret” with us. I wanted to read it just to figure out what was different about it. What is the secret of life?

My conclusion was that it was not different and that the theme or “the secret” has been written by many people and told by even more. It was not even research based which for me is a clear sign that someone had learned the secret of marketing! While marketing may sound easy, this author had figured out how to be endorsed by Oprah. Now that is a secret I want to know for sure. I will give the author credit for figuring out this secret.

Can someone share the secret of how to get discovered by Oprah?  Please send me the secret. Thanks.

Stop Complaining--Start Complimenting

A worldwide phenomenon has taken place to get people to stop complaining. Rev. Will Bowen in Kansas City, MO created purple bracelets and asked members of his congregation to wear the bracelets with the word "spirit" because "he noticed how dispiriting it is to complain all the time."  His congregation took his message to heart and the word spread.  After creating the not-for-profit A Complaint Free World and a website, more than 5 million bracelets have been shipped out. 

It works like this:  When wearers complains, they are to switch the bracelet to the other wrist and do this for 21 days which is supposedly the amount of time to form a habit.  According to Rev. Bowen, "We are so busy focusing on what is wrong with the world, we are not focusing on what we want it to be."  In his Easter sermon, his theme was that "your thoughts create your world and your world indicates what you are thinking."

A theme I have emphasized in leadership courses for years is similar.  Our beliefs influence our thoughts, our thoughts influence our actions.  So it all starts with what we are thinking.  That is why I believe an attitude of gratitude is so important.  If we focus on what is good, then we look for ways to express our gratitude often by thanking people or complimenting them.  If we want to feel better, then we need to stop thinking about ourselves and start thinking about others.  Perhaps I should start selling gratitude bracelets and raise money for a cause.

MORE Magazine

Last week I had the opportunity to hear the editor of MORE magazine speak at a fund raising luncheon.  While her comments were inspirational, what she was describing (without using the word) was a concept called "sage-ing(R)."  Since the audience was dominated by women, her remarks were designed in that way, but she mentioned how these ideas were not necessarily unique to women.  She talked about the issues in mid-life and how this time is unscripted.  For the first time in a long time, we don't have any road maps and we don't have the same kind of responsibilities of previous decades such as raising children and following a career path.  She encouraged us to re-invent ourselves, to become re-energized, to take some risks, to find a support group because we are not in this adventure by ourselves.

The easy path is to keep doing what we have always been doing, but life is too short.  If we want to try something else, we have to start making something happen. Our generation wants a more active "retirement."  In fact, some of us will not want to retire, but to move on to something else.  We want to keep learning and growing and the time to begin this journey is NOW regardless of our age.

My Bucket List

OK.  This was not easy to do, but I have tried to create my own bucket list.  Before I kick the bucket, this is what I think I would want to do:

• handwrite long letters to each of my sons telling them what I want them to know about me and life lessons based on my experience
• write letter to all of the critical people in my life
• I would want to write these letters while sitting in a beach house in Yucatan, Mexico outside of Merida
• Take my parents on a trip to a place they have been wanting to go
• Finally get my photo albums in order.  (I might have to hire someone to help me get this done.  Organizing is not my strength.)
• Pay someone to help me finish my book on Becoming a Sage.
• Take a family vacation to a special place in Mexico
• Allow myself to eat chocolate (only dark chocolate) every day
• Buy a photo booth for everyone who might stop by.  I love photo booths.

I am sure there are other things that are probably more important to say or do, but this is my list for now.  It is not an easy assignment.  Try making your own list and let me know how it goes. 

Spring Break Time

A few years ago, there was a list of tips floating around the email system supposedly from a speech given by Bill Gates.  In his list of words of advice, he reminds us that life is not made up of semesters and that there is no spring break in the work world. 

As a college professor, I am on spring break and I am cherishing every moment.  I consider it a fringe benefit.  It is a time to pause, reflect, and slow down.  Even though I am not traveling and I am not even in a place that is warm (it is an overcast day today), it is nice to have a break from the daily routine.  Taking the time to catch one's breath is a gift.  While I have my list of things to do, I am going to try to just be during this break.  Life is not all about being productive.  I hope I can do this because I am feeling this pressure to get something done such as spring clean and declutter my life.  Hopefully, I can find time this week to do both!  Thanks for listening. 

Into the Wild

This past week I rented the movie Into the Wild.  Even though I did not have a clue what the movie was about, I meant to see it in the theater and never got around to it.  My sons had read the book and like it.  The best words I can use to describe it are haunting and intriguing.  In fact, I can't stop thinking about it.

Based on a true story, "Alex" (Christopher McCandless,23, smart, and right out of college) is on a trip to find himself and live life by his own rules.  All along his journey, everyone he meets seems to become attached to him because of his charismatic personality, sense of curiosity, and genuine kindness.

There is one particular scene that is moving and earned Hal Holbrook an Oscar nomination for supporting actor in his role as Mr. Franz, an older man who could be Alex's grandfather.  Alex and Mr. Franz befriend each other, yet challenge one another.  Alex gets Mr. Fraz to follow him by climbing a steep hill. 

To Alex, Mr. Franz is older, set in his ways, and stuck in his own routines.  Alex tells Mr. Franz that he needs to get back into the world and to make radical changes in his life because the core of the spirit comes from new experiences.  Alex says, "You're wrong if you think joy comes from human relationships."

Meanwhile, Mr. Franz who has become quite attached to Alex and even says that he would adopt him, says to Alex, "There is something bigger out there than ourselves.  You seem to be fine if we call him God.  When you forgive, you love. When you love, God's light shines on you."  Right then the light shines through the clouds and they start laughing--deep belly laughs.

It is sad when they part, but Alex continues on his journey.  I won't disclose the end of the movie, but to say that at the end, Alex discovers the following:  "Happiness is only real when shared." 

My conclusion is that Mr. Franz is a sage.  He became a teacher and mentor to Alex and Alex thrived in the give and take of the relationship.  They saw value in each other and enriched each other's lives.  In the end, Alex realized the wisdom that had been shared with him and was a better person because of it. 

I can't stop thinking about the lessons embedded into this movie based on a true story. 

 

The Power of Perspective

Tim Sanders the former leadership coach at Yahoo, reinforces the power of perspective in his work on likeability. He says to “think of your perspective as your operating system. It determines your reactions and your reflexes. A new perspective will yield new reactions and reflexes.”

While we can’t control others, we have control over our own operating system. I think this is a metaphor to remember.

Last Lecture

 

There is a you-tube clip that is circulating the Internet and being embraced by people in higher education.  Carnegie Mellon University has a lecture series called Journeys.  It is a chance for a designated professor to share what they would share in their "last lecture." 

If you go to the website (www.cmu.edu/uls/journeys) they cite Mary Catherine Bateson, author of Composing a Life, "An artist takes ingredients that may seem incompatible, and organizes them into a whole that is not only workable, but finally pleasing and true, even beautiful.  As you get up in the morning, as your make decisions, as you spend money, make friends, make commitments, you are creating a piece of art called your life ..."

The video clip that is being sent from person to person is about a professor who is actually dying.  This is truly one of his last lectures.  When I watched the clip, I was reminded why so many of us teachers love the book Tuesdays with Morrie (which I have blogged about previously).  What would our last lecture be?  What words would we want to share with others?  What would we want them to remember?

This metaphor can be used for many occupations.  For pastors, what would be the message in the last sermon?  For people retiring or moving on, what do you want to say about the people or the company?

There is a message for everyone.  For me, the message is about making moments count.  Spend your time doing something worthwhile.  Don't age, but become a sage. 

• What would be the focus of your last message? 
• Who would be the audience?