Be Your Best Person

C. Vivian Stringer, one of the most accomplished basketball coaches in the country, was part of this year's Smart Talk Women's Lecture Series.  She shared a story about how two months after her husband died in 1992 and how she did not think she could keep going.  At this point, she was a single full-time parent and full-time working woman in a coaching profession that can eat up every minute.  She admitted how inadequate and guilty she felt. 

But a woman--her angel, she said--saw Vivian crying and comforted her by saying these words.  "You're not going to be the best mom all of the time.  You're not going to be the best coach all of the time.  Just be the best person you can be, and be at peace."

In my opinion, this should be our goal.  The definition of leadership that has emerged for me is that leadership is learning to live your best life.  If I am the best person I can be, then I should attract others.  I should be the influencer in a positive way.

Vivian reminded the women that "if we don't stand up for something, then we will fall for anything."  But she stressed that standing up can be difficult and come with a price.  "Too often, women who are powerful are considered too aggressive.  Women stay away from the word 'power.'  It seems to be overbearing.  But we should embrace it."

The Triple Bottom-Line

I was reading this leadership chapter written by Ken Blanchard and Dennis Carey where they use the term "triple bottom line."  Instead of being short term focused, leaders need to think about providing better service and motivating people more.  "The only thing your competition can't steal from you is the relationship your people have with your customers.  Under servant leadership, these relationships can really grow because the people closest to the customer are given the power and motivation to soar like eagles rather than quack like ducks." 

Years ago, I coined the phrase:  Employee satisfaction is a prerequisite to customer satisfaction.  If employees are not satisfied, it is hard for them to provide excellent customer service.  All of this relates directly to the bottom-line. 

If we remember the triple bottom line, the result will be better service, motivated people, and a better bottom line.  Are we ready to serve others?

More on the Last Lecture

Now the Last Lecture that circulated on the Internet is now a book called The Last Lecture.  Randy Pausch is a Carnegie Mellon professor of computer science and was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2006 and in August 2007 he was given three to six months to live.  Now his life lessons have been expanded into a book:

• Dream big
• Be grateful
• Have humor
• Use your time well

If you had the chance to share your parting words from life's lessons, what would you say?  Let me know.  Thanks. 

LifeTown Legacy

We had a speaker at our church last week from a Foundation.  They have a program called LifeTown Legacy Society and I liked what she said about the title of the program.  "Each of us has a 'LifeTown' ---the place where we have spent a significant part of our lives, raised our families, pursued business careers and developed lasting friendships."  She was encouraging us to give money to the Foundation to support the place where we live.

While where we live may not be our "hometown," where we spend most of our time is our "LifeTown."  This caught my attention because the research on aging says that it is important to honor our roots and relationships.  The model of making money, retiring, and moving to a mountain top or beach home is not necessarily the best way to have a quality life. 

Critical to the "sage-ing" process is finding meaning and purpose and this is often found in relationships. If we pull up roots and move, especially after leaving positions, it is hard to make the long-lasting and meaningful relationships that are so important as our support system.  Investing time and money to our LifeTowns, results in dividends that are so rewarding particularly through personal relationships. 

When living in Iowa, it is easy to understand why people want to escape the winter months of January, February, and March, but don't leave for good.  Your LifeTown needs you and you need your LifeTown too. 

Don’t Just Stand There, Meditate

I can’t tell you how many books and articles I have read about meditation.  For years, I thought people had to sit on the floor with their legs crossed, close their eyes, and get into a dreamy state in order to meditate.  What I have recently discovered is that with mindful meditation, we can be standing. 

Since the goal is to be awake, alert, withhold judgment, and conscious of what we are doing, I try to meditate while I am standing in lines, particularly when I am waiting in airports and sitting on planes.  When I do this, I feel as if this is a good use of time because I am using it for my benefit. 

Again, the key is to focus on your breathing.  When you realize you are breathing, you know you are awake.  As the tag line from Caribou Coffee reminds us:  Life is short.  Stay awake for it. 

Storytelling: What is your story?

National Public Radio (NPR) has a program that I find fascinating called StoryCorps.  The program consists of people going to StoryBooths in Grand Central Terminal in New York or to a traveling booth to interview someone important in their life.  In fact, a book called Listening is an Act of Love has been published of some of the more interesting interviews.  If I miss the interview which is usually played on NPR on Fridays, I download the podcast because the stories are so moving. 

The reason I am blogging about this is to reinforce the value of stories and the significance of listening.  This program reminds us that everybody's story matters and every life is important.  StoryCorps tells us to make time to talk and listen to the people who matter the most to us.  NPR has developed a How-to Kit for hosting a listening party.

Why would we need to even think about hosting a "listening party?"  Why has listening become a lost art?  It seems in a 24/7 world, that people would rather walk around with things in their ears (ear buds, earphones, earplugs) rather than listening to powerful stories. 

Take time to listen to the people most important in your life.  I plan to do the same. 

A Tribute to Galba Bright

"It is with deep regret that the family and friends of Galba Bright wish to inform you of Galba’s untimely passing."

This was the message that came across my email today from another on-line friend.  I was shocked by how much this message affected me since I never really knew Galba.  Yet, through the on-line community that I am learning exists through blogging, I feel as though I did know him.

Galba was one of the first people to comment on my blog.  His site is called http://tuneupyoureq.com/ (Tune up your EQ) and when he first left me a message, I did not even realize from whom it was coming.  So we started a conversation.  As recently as early March, I sent him a question asking if he thought it was even worth the time and effort to blog.  Although I have been blogging from about nine minths, I was still not convinced of the value.  On March 9th, he sent me a two page thoughtful response that included advice, other websites to review, and words of encouragement.  Galba said, "I believe in the core concept of your blog.  It resonates with me and I'd like to see you fulfill your purpose."  His response consisted of 12 main points.  Here is Galba's 12th point that he put in bold:

"Listen to your heart and do what you feel resonates with you and enjoy blogging for as long as it has meaning for you."

Best wishes--Galba Bright

Thanks Galba.  I will miss your comments on my blog and your advice.  Based on how I feel right now, I do believe the blogging community has value.  I feel as though I have lost a colleague from whom I can learn, grow, and share. 

Preflight Checklist

One of the sages in my study, Peter Koestenbaum, talks about the value of developing a leadership mindset.  He compares this to a preflight checklist used by an airline crew.  Before taking off, there are many things that have to be checked to make sure the plane is ready to safely fly the friendly skies.

Leaders need to organize our mindsets before taking off for the day.  Koestenbaum suggests the following list:

• Start your day in total solitude to clear the head.
• Start the day reclaiming your life so that you can be authentic and not try to be someone else.
• Start the day with a leadership mindset that will allow you to be mindful of the decisions made and the people affected by those decisions.

What is your checklist to make sure that you are being the best person you can be? 

Listening

I am reading The Sacred Art of Listening by Kay Lindahl, the founder of The Listening Center.  It never occurred to me that a listening center even existed.  But in the 24/7 connected world in which we live, I think it makes sense.  Lindahl says the following:

"Learning how to listen to and speak with each other are essential skills for creating relationships that lead to mutual respect, dialogue, understanding, and peace.  As I explore a spiritual approach to listening, my understanding of what it actually means to listen continues to expand.  Listening encompasses much more than words.  Listening is a way of being in the world.  These reflections speak from that voice."

She calls listening a sacred art because it is giving ourselves and our time to actually pay attention to another person.  It sounds so simple, but yet it can be so hard.  That is way she calls listening a spiritual practice.  Stay tuned for more insights on listening.

The Little Book of Leadership

This is a great weekend read.  Just use the arrows at the bottom of the presentation to play each slide right here on the site:

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