From a Distance

Music is powerful.  There are songs that take you back in time.  You can remember who you were with, what you were thinking, and where you were at the time when the song was popular.  There are a few songs that just stop me in my tracks.  Every time I hear the song I have to stop and think about the words. 

From a Distance, especially sung by Bette Midler, makes me think.  In fact, I use this song in my diversity course because from a distance so many things make sense.  When she sings, "what is all this fighting for," ....I have to stop and think.  Do you believe God is watching us from a distance?  I do. 

The Red Leather Diary

Recently I was in Chicago and ran into an aquaintance who recommended I read the book The Red Leather Diary.  It turns out the author, Lily Koppel, is her daughter who at 27 years of age also writes for the New York Times. 

Well, I read the book, loved it, and I guarantee you it will be made into a movie.  As I read the book, the movie would be a combination between the Titanic and The Notebook.  It is based on a true story of how Lily found a red leather diary in an old steamer trunk waiting to be hauled away.  After she read the whole diary (entries every day for five days from 1929-32), she proceeded to see if the writer was still alive.  When Lily discovered Florence was alive and well at age 90, she was able to interview her which resulted in this book.

What intrigued me was that Florence is an elder with wisdom and Lily was captivated by her storytelling. This was a beautiful example of why sage-ing is so important.  Intergenerational learning keeps everyone more alive.  Through Florence's stories, readers learn about what it was like to grow up as a teenager during the Depression era.  We learn about the values of the time--family values and societal values.  It is storytelling at its best because the stories are told in such vivid descriptions that we can visualize what it was like to live, work, and love during that time period.

In sage-ing, we emphasize the value of journaling or some way of telling your personal story for the benefit of legacy work.  Not only is it helpful to the writer in sharing the story, but readers for years to come can benefit from the wisdom shared. 

We should all tell our story in some way. 

 

Meet Florence and Lily:

Success Built to Last

Success Built to Last:  Creating a Life that Matters is written by Jim Collin's co-author, Jerry Porras, in the book Built to Last which is about companies that are literally built to last.  The book describes three essential elements of success built to last:

• Meaning:  What you do must matter deeply to you in a way that you as an individual define meaning.
• ThoughtStyle:  This is a highly developed sense of accountability, passion, and optimism.
• ActionStyle:  Successful people find effective ways to take action.

"Become consciously aware of what matters to you and then rally your thought and action to support your definition of meaning" (p. 27).

As the authors remind us, "Making a life is as important as making a living."  The question is how do we keep this thought and these three elements "front and center" so that we act on all of this. 

Clashpoint: Career Goals

How do the generations differ on how they perceive career goals?  You might be able to answer this question based on your experiences, but here is what is described in When Generations Collide:

• Traditionalists:  Build a legacy
• Baby Boomers:  Build a stellar career
• Gen X:  Build a portable career
• Millennials:  Build parallel careers

Think about the conversations in career development, coaching, performance appraisals.  Think of people you know in each of these categories.  How should we change what we say or do so that we are speaking the same language?  It is easy to say that people want different things, but workplaces and people within them can't ignore how these perspectives clash. 

When Generations Collide

Based on reading the book When Generations Collide, I am going to write several posts on the differences among the four generations currently in the workplace.  Everyone in every workplace should be aware of these differences because we need to make adjustments in order to get along.  It is true that not everyone is like us and we need to be aware of the primary "clashpoints" and adjust our thinking and behavior accordingly.

These authors describe the four groups:

• Traditionalists
• Baby Boomers
• Generation X
• Millennials

In the book, they walk readers through the seven main clashpoints about which these generations think and behave differently:

• career goals
• balance
• retirement
• feedback
• training
• job changing and
• rewards

By examining this list of points where people can clash, it is easy to see how being aware and making adjustments would improve all kinds of relationships:  working, family, and friends.  While we can all learn from each other, we need to assume that people from different generations see things in a different way and we need to honor and respect that as much as possible. 

I will be sharing more about this since I believe this is an important topic.  Without this knowledge, conflicts emerge and we often don't know why.  This might provide some insight.  I know that I have used this information as I try to help my son who is a recent college graduate in his job search.  Things are different than they used to be and I need to get with the program.  This has also been a good reminder to me when I interact with my college students. 

Thoughts Guide Behaviors

One of my favorite brands is Life is good. You can find this label with a smiley face on t-shirts, caps, towels, or just about anything that is casual and fun.  While we were out of town this past weekend, I discovered that there is a brand now called:  Life is crap.  You can find this brand on the same kinds of merchandise.

While I realize this is to be funny and at first I laughed myself, the more I thought about it the more it bothered me.  There is an expression that says:  "Where thoughts go, energy flows."  I believe that our thoughts influence our behaviors.  If we are not thinking it, we won't say it or do it. 

So I am going to stick to my Life is good.  I love that expression and now I don't find the other brand funny.  Have I lost my sense of humor?  I don't think so.  But I believe strongly in the power of positive thinking.  So does the author of The Secret and she has made a fortune! 

Questions Not Answers

We talk about how questions are important rather than the answers.  I have been learning more about this in my spiritual prayer group that is led by a spiritual director.  After a person shares their story with the group, the group can ask questions, but can not give answers. The purpose is for the group to ask questions that will help the presenter tap into their inner wisdom. The questions cannot be worded as advice or instructions such as, “Have you considered …” or “Do you think asking …would help?”

This is a difficult task because we tend to be conditioned to give answers.  But when you take the time to word the questions thoughtfully, I have been amazed at the insights gained from the questions.  I find myself continuing throughout the week to think about the questions.  Isn't this what life is about anyway? 

• How might I use this technique to be a better parent, friend, person? 

That is the question I am pondering.

A Change of Perspective

When I was in El Salvador, there was a quote that kept going through my mind.  I have used this quote in my diversity work for years.  It comes from the book Liberation Theology:  An Introductory Guide by Robert McAfee Brown:  "Where we stand determines what we see."

There was a scene in the movie Dead Poets Society where the teacher played by Robin Williams stands on the desk to make point about perspective.  When he stands on the desk, everything and everyone looks different.  As leaders, we should try to gain a new perspective by trying to see things in a new way.  When we do this, we are demonstrating compassion and empathy for what others may see, think, or believe.  How can we "stand" in a different place in order to have a new perspective? 

More on El Salvador

It would take about an hour to go six miles in El Salvador because of the winding and rough roads.  Fifteen of us were standing up in the back of a truck traveling the countryside in El Salvador going from cantone to cantone learning about their situation in order to try to decide what the best ways to help.  Each night as a group we would process the events of the day. 

One of the key questions was:  Did you see God revealed today?  If so, where?  When?  As I contemplated the questions both during the days and each night, this song kept coming to my mind by Joan Osbourne:  One of Us.  The lyrics kepts going through my head and I could hear it as I looked at the faces of the children, as I listened to the stories being shared by the people.  "What if God was one of us? ...Trying to make his way home." I could not stop thinking about this song during the entire trip.

Liberation Theology

In El Salvador, Liberation Theology is alive and well.  The Theology of Liberation is ... an attempt to link theology with social justice in an intellectual and practical sense simultaneously.  It challenges the church to rethink its very mission and reason for being in a changing world, a world of oppression, exploitation, a world of poverty affecting millions of people across the globe.

There are four ideas central to the movement:

• The preferential option for the poor.  This means that the church must align itself with poor people as they demand justice.
• Institutional violence.  Liberationists see a hidden violence in social arrangements that create hunger and poverty.
• Structural sin.  Liberation theologians argue that there is a social dimension that is more than the sum of individual acts of sin. 
• Orthopraxis.  This term was coined by liberation theologians as a counterpoint to insistence on orthodoxy, meaning correct belief.  Liberation theologians argue that what is most fundamental is not just correct belief, but correct action--that is, an effort leading to human liberation.

While some of this is not easy to understand, the people in El Salvador whom we met believe strongly that religion should not be used to oppress and I agree.  We went to the sites where Archbishop Oscar Romero was killed and to where four priests and several nuns were killed all because they spoke out against oppression in the church.  It is only when we know the atrocities that we can do something about not letting these things continue.