Welcome
Learning is a never-ending journey. I've learned much from my mentors, from the wise sages in my life. I feel it is important to share and pass along some of what I have learned – and continue to learn. I believe we are all responsible for smoothing the path for those who come after us. And I know that we are all connected and here to support one another.
My purpose is to:
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Barack Obama accepts the nomination last night with Joe Biden as his vice-president. John McCain selects the first woman vice-president on the Republican ticket today.
Where is the voice of wisdom when we need it most? I am listening for it.
Similar to the importance of a regular physical checkup or reviewing our financial situations, Richard Leider in his new book,Something to Live For: Finding Your Way in the Second Half of Life, advocates taking the time for a regular checkup to see if we are healthy in terms of our spirit and our sense of meaning.
How many of the following statements can you answer in the affirmative?
For those you answered "yes" to, what can you do to sustain this sense of meaning in the year head? For those you didn't, what changes can you make to find more meaning in the coming months?
Leider designed these simple questions for us to reflect on our work, our relationships, and our sense of connection between who we are and what we are doing in the world. The focus is on connecting who we are with what we do so that we can become whole beings.
We are human "beings" not human "doings" and we should remember this. Who are we being? Do we feel good about who we are? The goal is to become a sage.
Everyone in Iowa has been glued to the television to watch our hometown champion Shawn Johnson in gymnastics. She is the delight of the entire state. There are other Iowans competing such as Lolo Jones, but Shawn has won over the state with her infectious smile and great attitude.
The more I got to know her through the interviews and what was quoted of her in the paper, the more I admire her as a person and a leader. How can someone so young be so wise? In a sport that is so subjective (not like swimming where times are digital and accurate to the touch), Shawn demonstrates effective leadership behaviors in what she says and does not say. Listen to her own words:
What these simple statements say to me is that at a young age,
These are behaviors that should be demonstrated consistently by effective leaders. How can someone so young, be so wise. I think she learned this from her mother who said, "It's a win. She came out and gave the fight of her life. I've never seen her do better. I can't believe we're here, much less on the medal stand. I'm just numb."
I'm numb because of the authenticity of Shawn and her mother that is not the norm in many organizations in which we work. Who could not be a fan of Shawn Johnson's? If you did not know that she was 16, but you only read the comments above, wouldn't you want to work with her? for her? report to her?
While much has been written and said about John Edward's, as someone who studies leaders, I feel obligated to write a post on his predicament. In my opinion, his explanation was accurate: he let his ego get the best of him. He was narcissistic to the point that he thought he could get away with anything and everything. But where was his personal global positioning system (GPS)? Why was he not following the values he was out advocating and promoting? And if his family was aware of his situation before the campaign began, how did they think he would get away with it?
It is one thing for Edwards to get so caught up with himself and all that accompanies power in a negative way, but why wasn't someone thinking clearly and following their GPS? Leaders need reality checks and they need people to keep them authentic and accountable. Instead, it appears everyone going along for the ride. This is what I don't understand. The whole situation is so confusing.
There are so many lessons to be learned from this situation--what not to do.
Much has been written about Brett Farve asking to be released from the Packers to be traded to the New York Jets. There are many lessons to be learned from how the situation was handled and who is right. Without a doubt, mistakes were made and feelings were hurt. Farve was a super star at the Packers, worshiped by many, and now he will take on new challenges. People will feel betrayed. He might succeed and he might not.
But here is another perspective that I have not read, but about which people need to realize. "Retiring" is difficult and a person does not know how it will feel until it happens. If you look at the definitions of retire in the dictionary, they are not very appealing. The most common definition is to give up an office, occupation, or career because of age. But the other definitions are more telling: secluded or sequestered; to withdraw to a place of privacy, shelter, or seclusion; reserved or shy; to put out.
Retirement for most people is "the elephant in the room" in that most baby boomers are not interested in "retiring" because we want to make a difference in the world. We want to be useful by continuing to contribute and to be connected to our communities.
Professional athletes tend to "retire" at a relatively young age because of the physical demands of the sport. But this transitional time can cause havoc with our lives. Our whole lives are focused on helping us grow up to be who we want to be and much of this is centered on a career. When the career is "over," it is hard to know what to do with ourselves. Some athletes are fortunate to become part of the sports broadcast system, but there are not enough jobs for everyone.
The main point is that all of us need to spend some time and probably some money working through these issues surrounding "retirement." This is something about which I am passionate. While I don't have the answers, I want to help people figure it out. And in the process, I am actually helping myself come to terms with the next phase of life. What are you doing to prepare for the "second half of life?"
Now that I know how to embed videos into my posts, I hope that I am not overdoing it for my readers. If so, let me know. But last night we were watching Into the Wild. I wrote a blog post months ago after I saw this movie for the first time, but I wanted to write about it again because it is a perfect example of sage-ing.
Alex and Mr. Franz serendipitously meet each other. This intergenerational relationship is one of teacher and learner and it goes both ways. Both of them realize they are learning from each other and start to care about one another. But Alex knows he must move on and Mr. Franz, with his life experience and wisdom, knows that he will probably never see Alex again. You can tell that he fears for Alex's safety, but he needs to let him go.
It is such a beautiful scene that I am going to insert it because of the power behind it. Mr. Franz is a sage and Alex knows it.
Similar to Morrie in Tuesdays with Morrie, Randy Pausch left us a much to think about in life. He gave us a gift and that is to think about what is important to us and to start doing it. Through his lecture, appearances on television, and in his book his legacy will carry on for years to come.
We should all start living our lives in meaningful ways and finding ways for what we think and believe to carry on after we are gone. One activity I advocate is that of a legacy letter and ethical will. We don't have to write a book such as The Last Lecture, but we can use that thought of what would be want our last thoughts to be. This can be done in a letter to the people about whom you most care. It is never too late and the time to start is now. That can be our legacy for years to come.
Our minister had an interesting perspective on the seven wonders of the world. First, if you do some research, there are a variety of "seven wonders." There are the Seven Wonders of the:
But our minister said, "Here is what I consider to be the major wonders of the world, the ability to:
I could not stop thinking about how we take these "wonders" for granted. When I had each of my three children, I was in continual amazement at how these little "gifts" had ten toes and ten fingers and how each of them could hear and see and ... Life is such a precious thing and our abilities are wonders. It is even amazing how when we start to lose an ability that other senses tend to take over and compensate. Stop and think about the "wonders of the world."
Paul Lawrence and Nitin Nohria in their book Driven: How Human Nature Shapes our Choices, describe four primary innate drives that they believe are hard-wired in the brains of all humans. According to them, each of these drives needs to be satisfied and in balance or the dark side of the ego starts to appear which negatively influences behaviors.
One of these drives is the drive to bond which translates into a drive to form social relationships and to develop mutual caring commitments with others. This bond is associated with terms such as love, caring, trust, empathy, compassion, friendship, loyalty, and respect. All of this sounds good, but if this drive is too strong, bad behaviors start to emerge.
The extreme dark side of the drive to bond is that of war or is an "us" vs. "them" mentality. Another form would be when people are driven to do things they should not do just to form relationships. Recently, there was a man in my community who was becoming a mover and a shaker. When people described him, they used phrases such as: "He would do anything for his friends." "He was always there when you needed him." While I did not know him, he sounded like such a great guy.
But about two weeks ago he committed suicide and now other aspects of him are being revealed. He forged signatures so that he could borrow millions of dollars to fund his real estate development projects. It appears that he was using borrowed money to fly his wife and her best friend who is battling cancer to the Mayo Clinic in a private helicopter. It seems as if he wanted to be liked and he wanted the relationships so badly that he was willing to do unethical things to have this recognition.
Now he is gone and his family has to endure the consequences and the financial ruin that remains. It is sad that the stories coming out will put a dark cloud over the numerous good things that he said and did in his lifetime. I believe he was a good person, but the ego is powerful. We need to always be on the look out to make sure it is not getting the best of us. This is a sad story for which the ending is not yet known.
