Being Thankful

Dan and Chip Heath, authors of Made to Stick, write an article in every issue of Fast Company magazine.  It is one of the first pieces I read.  In one of the more recent issues, they talked about the value of being thankful and grateful.  They said it was an economic issue as well as an emotional one. 

Their premise was that companies should make it easy to pay compliments to workers as well as complaints.  The call centers or customer service centers tend to field problems, questions, and complaints, but it is just as important for people to have a number to call when they want to thank someone for the service.

What I found even more interesting is that they reported in a survey of 10,000 employees from the 1,000 largest companies, that 40% of the workers cited "lack of recognition" as a key reason for leaving a job.  They also stated that expressing gratitude can make yourself happier also. 

As Thanksgiving approaches, let's find ways to be thankful and to express an attitude of gratitude because it is as important to the sender as it is to the person receiving the message.

Paradigm Shift

There are so many situations from which we benefit if we shift our paradigm.  For example, shifting from aging to sage-ing is one way to change our thinking about the topic of growing older in years of life experience. 

In the latest issue of O Magazine, Oprah says the following:

"Everything in life has meaning.  The bigger the fall, the greater the lesson."

 

Barn's burnt down--

Now I can see the moon.  --Masahide (17th century Japanese poet)

What I Will Remember

It is more important to be interested than interesting.  What is the difference?  When people are interesting, the focus is on them.  When people are interested, the focus is on others. 

Could it be that if people are interested in others that they then become interesting?  I will remember that to be interested in other people, places, and things is a key to living a quality life.

What I Will Remember

In my opinion, one of the main strengths of a leader is to admit a limitation or mistake.  We are human and we make mistakes.  We are vulnerable and people want to know we are human--just like them.  So why is this so hard for so many people in leadership positions? 

I will remember that I do not know all of the answers and that I am vulnerable.  This is a strength that most people appreciate.

Thought for the Day

What if the rest of life was the best of life?  I saw this question on a postcard and it stopped me in my tracks.  So much about sage-ing is living in the moment.  We tend to spend time regretting the past and worrying about the future.  We need to focus on the present because what if the rest of life was the best of life?  We would not even realize it if we are not here now. 

What I Will Remember

We are human beings not human doings.  Yet, we get so caught up in the doing rather than the being.  I want to remember to focus on the being.  What does this mean?  Be present.  Be aware.  Be compassionate.  Be here now. 

One Tip on Sage-ing

While there are many aspects to becoming a sage, I heard a story at a workshop that was a great tip on sage-ing.  This woman said that her grandmother was a sage.  As a young woman, she asked her grandmother (who was about 70 at the time) how she learned to live such a quality life. 

Her grandmother told her that she always looked for role models who were about ten years older than her at various stages in her life.  That way she had someone who led her in the journey--a person she respected and used as a model for her life.

This is a practice that all of us can adopt.  It makes us aware of the people who are living life with passion and purpose.  We need to seek them out and watch their behaviors.  We have so much to learn and sages have so much to teach us if we are willing to accept the challenge. 

Why Some Good Leaders Go Bad

So much of bad leadership has to do with "the dark side of leadership."  Based on what I have read, the dark side emerges when the ego is out of balance.  Carl Jung referred to these dark behaviors as "the shadow side of the personality."

When leaders demonstrate narcissistic, paranoid, codependent, and passive-aggressive behaviors then the dark side is taking over.  When leaders are too competitive, don't listen, act from greed, jealous, and manipulative, then the shadow is casting darkness on the organization and followers are being negatively influenced. 

Barbara Kellerman in her book, Bad Leadership, advocates that the good and the bad needs to be addressed when developing leaders.  When we are aware that even our strengths to an excess can turn into weaknesses then we can keep the ego in check. 

As leaders, we should provide light and enlightenment in organizations and not cast shadows.  Pay attention to your ego so that you are not a good leader who has gone bad. 

Free Hugs

We have to be careful in the workplace to not violate anyone's personal space and privacy.  Since sexual harassment is unfortunately still an issue, when in doubt leave it out.  It is not about intention, but rather how someone might perceive the actions, behaviors, or words.

But what does it tell us about society that more than 32 million people will watch a video about a man offering "free hugs?"  What does this tell us about what is needed in the world?  Why are so many people interested in free hugs?  

What can parents learn from this?  What can be learned?  Maybe we need to provide ways for people to care about each other more or to let that caring appropriately be communicated?  What does this video say to you?

It's how you make someone feel ...

What I will remember is that how you make someone feel can last a long time--good or bad.  Everyone likes to share quotes and here is one of my favorites.  While I don't know where I heard it, the quote is something like this:

"People won't remember what you said.  They won't remember what you did.  But they will remember how you made them feel."

How true this is!  Think about the last time you felt angry, hurt, or frustrated and you can probably associate a person with the situation.  You will remember that person for the way s/he made you feel.