Coaches are Leaders?

Image via Wikipedia

Are coaches--athletic coaches-- leaders?  Since I consider anyone who has influence over someone else as a leader, then I certainly think athletic coaches are leaders.  So why am I writing about this topic?

One of our sons plays college soccer and it has been a big part of his identity since he was in kiddie soccer.  This year he was particularly focused because last season he tore his ACL and was out for most of it after his surgery.  He felt this year was a good year with a good team and he was designated as one of the co-captains as a junior.  The same thing was true for his roommate and good friend.  They love to play soccer and they play with all of their hearts.

Two days before the biggest game of the season, the coach tells both of them that they will not be starting the game--they had lost their starting positions.  According to both of them, the coach did not explain why they would not be starting.  Needless to say, they were both devastated and broken hearted for reasons you might imagine.

As parents know, nothing hurts as when your children are hurting.  It is hard to explain to people without children, but it is so hard to see your kids hurting.  I can remember when one of my kids was being left out by the "clique" at school or someone was not being nice to one of them.  It hurts as nothing else hurts.  You try to comfort them because you know from experience how bad it feels.  But some times there is not much you can do or say to make it feel better or to make the feeling go away.  It seems to be a part of growing up that just comes with the territory.  When their hearts are breaking, yours is too!

As my husband and I were processing this recent soccer situation and trying make sense of it all, I made the statement that "as a leader, this coach needs to explain why they were not starting so that they can understand."  To which my husband replied, "This guy is not a leader.  He is only a soccer coach."

Then I quickly replied that at "Central College we expect our coaches to be teachers and teachers are leaders.  Anyone who influences someone else --positively is a good leader or negatively is a bad leader.  But coaches are leaders."

My husband totally agreed.

We did not necessarily question the decision.  We can accept that the coach did not want to start these two people for whatever reason and perhaps that was the right decision.  But I find it unacceptable that the coach did not communicate enough or in ways that could be heard by these young impressionable lives.  With some introspection and wisdom, this coach could have made the situation into a teachable moment that leaves everyone as better people.

They always say that participating in sports contributes to building character.  But the lack of communication was misleading and hurtful.  Hopefully, this leads to character because we can learn from bad leaders as much as from good leaders. 

What do we not want to do when we have a chance to influence others? 

What do we want to remember to do?

People usually can accept the decision if they know why it was made.  This requires clear, consistent, and constant communication.  As one college president told me in an interview, "When you think you have communicated, then communicate again and again.  You can't communicate enough.  When people lack information, they make it up and rumors begin."

I only wish the soccer coach, who has years of life experience, would have done so. 

Since my son was one of the co-captains, he felt he had earned the respect of the coach.  So why do you think the coach did not explain? 

Please enlighten me.  I am still puzzled by the lack of communication which leads all of us to guessing what happened.  How can people learn if they don't know what it is that went wrong?   

Related articles by Zemanta

• Ponytail Pulling is Bad (but awfully good for women's sports) (oup.com)
• Leadership Isn't About You (blogs.harvardbusiness.org)
• Global Soccer: Pulling Attention With a Yank of a Pony Tail (nytimes.com)

Comments

[Brady]

Being an athlete and somebody who would like to coach some day, I believe several valid points are raised here. A coach will ultimately be a leader, but whether they are a good is up for them to prove. I believe a coach that is able to get his/her players to perform up to their potential should be considered a good leader, even if the team record does not agree.