Happiness Series

Since PBS had a series on The Emotional Life and I am reading the book Healing the Culture: A Commonsense Philosophy of Happiness, Freedom and the Life Issues by Robert Spitzer, I thought I would have a blog series on happiness to share with you what I am learning.  NPR had a segment about the series which brought this to my attention.

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

One finding I found interesting had to do with aging.  According to Daniel Gilbert, a professor of psychology at Harvard and author of the book Stumbling on Happiness:

"The fact is that when you measure happiness, if you hold constant physical health, people only get happier over time.  This is very important.  When we think of old people being unhappy, we're almost always thinking of old people whose health is failing.

But it turns out, when your health fails at any age, you're unhappy.  Older people tend to be unhappier than younger people only because they're in poorer health.  As long as they aren't in bad health, they're actually happier."

This research is consistent with sage-ing work, but I would add some qualifiers such as facing one's mortality, embracing aging, focusing on relationships, and legacy work.  These activities, which take time and effort, help us shift the paradigm from aging to sage-ing which is a key to happiness.

What makes you happy? 

Is anyone out there reading?  If so, tell me what you think makes people happy, particular as we gain in years of life experience. 

 

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It is all about behaviors

I read a great review of Marshall Goldsmith's book What Got You Here Won't Get You There which made me want to read the book.  Our leadership effectiveness really has to do with behaviors.  Goldsmith is wonderful for cutting to the chase and making things easy to understand.  It is not surprising that he a successful corporate coach.  To summarize:

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1. Winning too much: The need to win at all costs and in all situations - when it matters, when it doesn't, and when it's totally beside the point.

2. Adding too much value: The overwhelming desire to add our two cents to every discussion.

3. Passing judgment: The need to rate others and impose our standards on them.

4. Making destructive comments: The needless sarcasms and cutting remarks that we think make us sound sharp and witty.

5. Starting with "No," "But," or "However": The overuse of these negative qualifiers which secretly say to everyone, "I'm right. You're wrong."

6. Telling the world how smart we are: The need to show people we're smarter than they think we are.

7. Speaking when angry: Using emotional volatility as a management tool.

8. Negativity, or "Let me explain why that won't work": The need to share our negative thoughts even when we weren't asked.

9. Withholding information: The refusal to share information in order to maintain an advantage over others.

10. Failing to give proper recognition: The inability to praise and reward.

11. Claiming credit that we don't deserve: The most annoying way to overestimate our contribution to any success.

12. Making excuses: The need to reposition our annoying behavior as a permanent fixture so people excuse us for it.

13. Clinging to the past: The need to deflect blame away from ourselves and onto events and people from our past; a subset of blaming everyone else.

14. Playing favorites: Failing to see that we are treating someone unfairly.

15. Refusing to express regret: The inability to take responsibility for our actions, admit we're wrong, or recognize how our actions affect others.

16. Not listening: The most passive-aggressive form of disrespect for our colleagues.

17. Failing to express gratitude: The most basic form of bad manners.

18. Punishing the messenger: The misguided need to attack the innocent who are usually only trying to help us.

19. Passing the buck: The need to blame everyone but ourselves.

20. An excessive need to be "me": Exalting our faults as virtues simply because they're who we are.

Bonus 21: Goal Obsession: The force at play when we get so wrapped up in achieving our goal that we do it at the expense of a larger mission.

It sounds so simple. 

Since behaviors are learned, where did we learn to behave in these ways? 

Why are some of these things so hard to do? 

Why do we have to remind ourselves NOT to behave in these ways?

 

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Blue Zones: Ways to Increase Longevity

It is one thing to live a long time. But the quality of life is probably more important.  Becoming a sage is a journey to a quality life.  Dan Buettner is on a mission to to help people live quality lives for the rest of their lives.  Through his research, he has learned things that he is using to help transform communities.  He has developed a program to help people eat better, become more active, connect with one another, and find a greater sense of purpose.  These four things he believes lie at the heart of improved health and longevity--something he calls Blue Zones.  These zones are unique regions where people have the world's longest life spans.

According to Buettner, there are nine easy ways to boost longevity:

1.  Keep moving--Find ways to be active.

2.  Find purpose--Find it and pursue it with a passion (See Richard Leider)

3.  Slow down--Work less and take more vacations.

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4.  Stop eating--When you are 80% full.

5.  Dine on plants--Eat more veggies and less meat and processed foods.

6.  Drink red wine--Only in moderation.

7.  Join a club--Social networks are important.

8.  Feed your soul--Spiritual activities are essential.

9.  Love your tribe--Make family a priority.

While this list may sound as if it were common sense, it is based on research.  If you want to know more about how you might score, go to Vitality Projectat aarp.org/bluezonesproject. 

If we are going to live a long time, we might as well live a quality life.  Sage-ing is better than just aging.

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Jimmy Carter is a Sage--for sure

As a member of the Elder Council, Jimmy Cater is already recognized as a sage.  He is a great role model for what it means to grow into a sage.  On a recent trip, I was reading the Delta Sky magazine which included an article about Carter. 

Image via Wikipedia

It reminded us that most people at age 85 are either mastering the Sunday crossword puzzle, golfing, lunching with friends, or finding some way to pass the time.  "Unless we get out ideas about retirement from Carter, in which case we don't even acknowledge the existence of such a word."

As most of you remember, Cater was president from 1977 to 1981 and won the Nobel Peace Prize in 2002 for decades working for peace, democracy, and human rights.  During the past year, Carter has been to more than a dozen countries.  He is now working to fight malaria in Haiti and monitoring elections in Lebanon with The Carter Center.  He builds homes with Habitat for Humanity.  In addition, he is a painter; he has written 24 books; he teaches Sunday school at a Baptist church in Plains, Georgia.  He also spends time with his four kids, 11 grandchildren and four great-grandchildren.

In essence, Carter understands that to keep living you have to keep growing, learning, and giving back. He realizes that value of leaving a legacy and continuing to work in that direction.  Carter is the perfect example of what sag-ing is all about.

While having good health is a benefit, we can all find ways to incorporate these concepts into our lives in order to live a quality life for the rest of our life.

I am on a mission to retire the word "retirement."  As with so many of the examples about which I like to blog, there is a trend for a new model of life after major career.  Call it recareering or transitioning or living the next phase.  Regardless of what we call it, we need to think about how we want to live the third chapter of life.  And the sooner we think about this the better.

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A Booming Career in her 90s!

In a recent New York Times, there was a fascinating article about Carmen Herrera, a painter who is now gaining recognition at age 94.  Even though she has been privately painting for more than six decades, she sold her first painting at 89.  Her style is considered a minimalist who paints geometric art.  Her larger works sell for $30,000 abd one painting even brought her $44,000 to which Herrera said, "I have more money now than I ever had in my life."

But what caught my attention was Herrera's comments that resonate with sage-ing principles.  She continues to learn, to create, and to live life to its fullest:

"I do it [art] because I have to do it; it's a compulsion that also gives me pleasure.  I never in my life had any idea of money and I thought fame was a very vulgar thing.  So I just worked and waited.  And at the end of my life, I'm getting a lot of recognition, to my amazement and my pleasure, actually."

This story reminds me of a comment made by a participant in one of my seminars.  We were talking about sage-ing and growing in wisdom.  A woman spoke up and said that her grandmother figured out how to do this years ago and served as her inspiration.  She asked her grandmother where she learned how to live and the response was memorable.  Her grandmother told her that throughout her life she always looked for role models (people who were living in healthy and admirable ways) who were about 10 years older than she about every 10 years.  So she always had someone leading the way.

How inspiring to read about people such as Herrera who just kept on a healthy path for all of the right reasons.  We should all be so fortunate to have our health and to keep moving on down the "path."

Do you know someone who inspires you as Carmen Herrera?

New Publication: Women of Yucatan

I am excited to share the good news after years of working on this project that resulted in a book.  Even though people are thanked in the acknowledgements, I want to thank everyone who supported me in one way or another to make this possible.  You know who you are and I am grateful.  Thank you. 

Book by Jann Freed and George Ann Huck published

PELLA — Eight years in the making and Women of the Yucatan: Thirty Who Dared to Change Their World is now available. The book, which profiles 30 women who have dared to challenge gender inequalities set against them at birth in their native Mexico, is authored by Jann Freed, professor of business management and the Mark and Kay De Cook Endowed Chair in Leadership and Character Development at Central College, and George Ann Huck, professor emerita of Spanish.

The idea for the book emerged during the semester Freed taught on Central’s Yucatan program. The two paired up to interview 30 women in a patriarchal society who have lived in an environment where rape can often be forgotten as a crime if the victim agrees to marry her aggressor and where negative pregnancy tests are a sometimes a prerequisite for employment in the maquiladora factories. The profiles, supplemented by photographs, describe the women’s accomplishments and motivations as well as the obstacles they have confronted.

The book was published by McFarland in December and is available at mcfarlandpub.com and amazon.com.

A bilingual photography exhibit has been displayed in more than 25 locations around the state of Iowa since 2000 and will be on display at Iowa State University in Ames in February. An exhibit was held in Merida, Yucatan, with most of the profiled women present in 2004.

This project was supported by grants from Central College, Humanities Iowa, the Iowa Arts Council and Iowa Sister States Program.

Freed is in her 28th year at Central College and has authored numerous articles and co-authored several books. She received the Virgil S. Lagomarcino Laureate Award from Iowa State University in October 2008. Freed is certified as an Academic Quality Improvement Program Systems Portfolio reviewer and a as a Sage-ing Leader through the Sage-ing Guild. She also is a commissioner for the State Library of Iowa.

Huck spent more than 35 years directing Central’s study abroad program in Merida and teaching culture and literature in the Yucatan. She lives in Merida and remains involved in the struggle of Yucatecan women.

Clint Eastwood Turns 80!

Clint Eastwood is a sage.  In May, Eastwood turns 80 and he is as active now as ever.  He understands the value of continual learning and mixing it up with people of all ages.  In his own words:

Image via Wikipedia

"I'm always trying to tackle subjects that tax me and make me think.  The brain has to be exercised the same as the rest of the body." 

He believes the never-too-old-to-learn philosophy is critical at this stage in life.  "Follow what you think.  You want to do something?  Just do it the best you can, whatever that is.  I'm not saying everyone make a phenomenal thing.  But you can fail on your own terms."

In the interview I read, Eastwood savors life. 

"You don't have to rush down the hill.  you can walk down.  The main things is not how long you're on the planet, but the quality you have while you're here.  That was always the only thing that really mattered."

It is almost as if Eastwood has read a book on sage-ing.  He intuitively understands the differences between sage-ing and aging. 

"My dad was always talking about retiring and sitting next to a stream with a couple of beers in his hand.  Sounds like a commercial, but retirement is not for me ... The reason I don't retire is that I learn something new every day.  It's about expanding, constantly pushing yourself."

Eastwood is a great example of the importance of exercising the mind and body.  Instead of retiring, he realizes that the key to a quality life is to keep learning and pushing oneself at whatever level possible.  I would say at 80, Eastwood is inspiring. 

We should all be so fortunate.  But as pointed out above, there is work involved and the results are worth it.

How come some people understand this naturally and others just don't get it? 

I think the answer may be intentional decision making, being awake, and not sleep walking through life.

What do you think?

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Brenda Krause Eheart and Hope Meadows

An important part of sage-ing is intergenerational learning.  Brenda Eheart came up with the idea of having retirees move into the neighborhood and offer reduced rent in exchange for helping with the kids.  She created Hope Meadows which is a model for intergenerational life and now she is replicating it across the country. 

It is a win-win for everyone.  Older people can pass down life experiences and kids can help seniors stay young and active.  How else could this model be used for the benefit of everyone? 

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Leadership at Timberland

Several of the leadership books I have read continue to mention the same companies as places where employees can bring their minds, bodies, and spirits such as Timberland and Southwest Airlines.  Jeff Swartz is an interesting leader because he is committed to being a prophet while making a profit.  There was a great article about him in Fast Company last year where he describes his leadership philosophy,

In a recent The New York Times Sunday, there was a Q and A about what he looks for when he hires people.  Since I thought the responses reflected how he leads, I am sharing some of them.

Image via CrunchBase

Q:  What unusual thing do you do during the hiring process?

A:  I go to every new-employee thing, and I do a warm-up exercise.  I say to folks:  'Tell me your name and say your favorite place in the outdoors. You can say Niagara Falls or the Grand Canyon or anything else you want to say and no one's going to call you on it, so please, there's low pressure on this.'  An so you go around the room and people say things ... One woman said, 'I don't belong here.  My favorite place is not a hiking trail.  It's not a mountain.  I love Manhattan.  I love the smell of it.' 

I told her that it was OK.  Then I give a standard speech.  'I asked your name because it wasn't your resume we hired, it was you.  The individual matters.  Two, I asked you your favorite place in the outdoors.  And so I reinforced the fact that it's all about you.  But then if you noticed, everybody had someplace to say because we're trying to serve this notion of outdoor spirit ...'

"So in hiring, I'm desperately probing for the human inside the shell because the people who succeed at Timberland show a little leg, meaning they expose themselves ... To go to a company town-hall meeting and call out to question a strategy you don't understand or a deeply felt thing, you've got to show up. 

You know the line in "The Godfather ---"Nothing personal. It's just business."  At Timberland, I want to make it clear from the beginning it is personal.  Not invasion-personal, like I need to know what;s going on in your life.  But if you aren't going to play at the level of personal, it's probably not going to be nourishing for either of us.

A willingness to be exposed, a willingness to acknowledge and value the personal dimension--from the beginning, that's what we're after."

Because this seems so unusual, I thought it was worth pointing out.  Look at the words he uses such as "nourishing."  How fun would it be to work at a company where people had this leadership philosophy.  Go to Timberland's website and you will find how they "walk the talk."  Swartz is willing to hang in there even when times are tough because he is willing to be a prophet even when it is tough to make a profit. 

Meryl Streep as Sage

Meryl Streep is well known.  She is the recipient of two Academy Awards as well as 15 Oscar nominations and 23 Golden Globe nominations.  This is more than any other actor in the history of either award.  But Streep finds the fact that she is still working unbelievable.

Meryl Streep via last.fm

In a cover story article in Vanity Fair, Streep said the following:

"It's incredible--I'm 60, and I'm playing the romantic lead in romantic comedies! ... Bette Davis is rolling over in her grave.  She was 42 when she did All About Eve, and she was 54 when she did What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?" 

When Streep was preparing to be Julia Child in Julie and Julia, she was constantly amazed that when Julia Child's famous book, Mastering the Art of French Cooking, was published Child was almost 50 years old.  "So she didn't really become 'Julia Child' until she was 50."

Brigitte Lacombe, French photographer, has taken photos of Streep for more than three decades.  She thinks Streep's power comes from fighting the pressures put on by society about aging. 

As Streep ages, she refuses to alter her face with cosmetic surgery of Botox.  "If you start to do something lie that, it's very hard to stop," said Lacombe.  "If you understand that what makes your work good is not the way you look, as you grow older, you take different parts.  It's like women in real life who want to hang on to a certain part of their life and to look younger.  they miss every other stage of their life.  To try to stop the time, to look young--it's such a futile, absurd way to look at life in general, and it's very detrimental to their work. 

They may think that it prolongs their work, and maybe they might get one or two parts more, but their face is their tool, and also what they understand about life, what they go through in life.  If you alter it, you deprive yourself of some of what you need to do your work well."

Sage-ing is all about appreciating where you are in life and making the most of it.  The journey of becoming a sage involves accepting life and reflecting on life experience in order to gain wisdom to pass on to others in the form of a legacy.  Being comfortable in one's skin is always the best way to live.

I have seen celebrity speakers who could barely smile because of alterations to their faces. In fact, one person kept putting her hands in front of her face when she laughed because I think she was embarrassed that she no longer looked like the video being shown of her from past movies.

While I am sure it is tempting to want to halt the signs of time, sage-ing is about acceptance and appreciation.  This reminds me of a quote remembered from a long time ago (went something such as this):

"Face lines remind me that I showed some expressions during my life."

As Streep concluded:

"As there begins to be less time ahead of you, you want to be exactly who you are ..."

I agree with this. 

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