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This is a follow up to my post on Frances Hesselbein. I had the opportunity to listen to a live webinar with Hesselbein on International Women's Day. She closed by saying she imagines that she has two invisible tattoos about leadership to remind her of two specific things. Hesselbein said that on one shoulder it says: Ask–don't tell.
On her other shoulder, she imagines that it says: Think first. Speak last.
Several of my readers have shared what their "tattoos" say, so I said I would share mine. Since tattoos are serious and not easily removed, this is not easy. But for now I am going with these:
Be interested. When we are interested in others, in things, in learning, in whatever–This helps us build relationships and is outwardly focused rather than self-focused. It keeps us curious and asking questions.
Honesty with kindness. One of my friends shared this at a Women's Retreat I facilitated in February on Leaving One's Legacy and I liked it. I realized that fairness is important to me and honest feedback. Sometimes, leaders (and people) have to deliver feedback that could be perceived as critical. But if we focus on delivering messages honestly, but with kindness then we are considering our tone, method, and approach. If we are to live with integrity, we have to be honest.
But I think I could have thought of several "tattoos." I always like this one:
I'd rather be dancing.
Now, if you did not share your tattoos, I think now is the time.
I think that in the business world it is the ideal, but not usually the case, where feedback is given carefully in regards to tone and approach. Most managers I’ve known through the years take the more blunt approach and never sugar-coat their opinions. This may be because many feel that critical feedback has more force behind it, and doesn’t allow room for interpretation. I do agree with you though that the kinder approach is what should always be strived for; unfortunately not everyone thinks about the impact of their words before they open their mouths.
I really like your second tattoo. I work with so many people who are terrified to tell someone when they are messing up. It’s always frustrated me. I told one manager “If you don’t tell me when I make a mistake I’m just going to keep doing it.” However, there is an art to giving feedback. Kindness makes all the difference. Approaching the person with a smile (people respond to smiles) and being careful to avoid making it a personal attack makes all the difference. People are just more receptive of advice offered that way. They are less likely to feel the need to defend themselves.
I have been trying to think about what my invisible tattoos would be ever since we first talked about it in the beginning of March. Originally I thought:
- Make an impact
- Always have faith
But after giving it some more thought I think my tattoos would be:
- Always have faith: I have been blessed many times throughout my life and I believe it is because I have always had faith. In times of need it is something I can turn to for guidance and it times of triumph it is something to give thanks.
- Choose joy: This tattoo is important for two reasons. First, the verb choose…this requires a conscious action to do something or feel some way. Secondly, joy is a great feeling and emotion. If everyone chose to be joyful everyday then the world will be filled with more happiness.
I have also been thinking about what my invisible tattoos would be. I think one would be “Never give up” or “Always do your best,” something along those lines. My grandpa always used to tell me to do my best, because that will always be enough.
My other one I think would be, “Live life now.” Since we’ve talked so much in class about being present and awake, I’ve been trying to live my life in the present. I’ve tried to stop worrying about future things that may never happen and started to live life every day like it is my last one. These are two invisible tattoos that I think I would get, because they are important to me in different ways.
I really like listening to music that is encouraging and positive and drawing messages from those songs. Many times if certain lyrics leave an impression on me, I will write them down to remember them. Two of my favorite lyric phrases, which would also be my tattoos, are “let my lifesong sing to you” and “walk on the water”. Both of these phrases have religious meanings. The first is about making my life and actions pleasing to God, and the second is about having enough faith to “walk on the water”, just as Peter walked on the water toward Jesus.
My tattoos would be “Never give up” and “Make a difference”. The first one would be never give up because I think this is the best attitude at whatever it is you are doing. You always want to try your hardest and have that never give up mentality. the next one would be make a difference because everything you do impacts somebody in some way. So I have this because I would want to make a positive influence on somebody.
I think that one of my invisible tattoos is “believe,” I have always been told to believe in myself and believe in the good of others. You spend your whole life believing- we believe in santa clause- we believe in our faith- and so much more. It’s also about making things possible, after all “Anything is possible if you just believe.”
I really like the idea of these invisible tattoos. Tattoos are something that you have the rest of your life and they make an impression on people. The idea of having two tattoos on each shoulder is intriguing. I really like Hesselbein’s tattoo, think first, speak last. A lot of people can learn from her tattoo and it can help her greatly when interacting with others.
I think invisible tattoos are a very interesting idea. My invisible tattoos would probably say:
“until this life won’t let me live here anymore”. This life we are all granted is a gift, we only get to live it once so we need to make it worthwhile. another of my invisible tattoos would say “faith is everything”. You don’t know what is going to happen next or that everything is going to go right but you need to have faith that you will be able to get through it no matter what and that people will be there to help you.
“Stay Faithful and Finish Well.”
I took this quote from a book I’m reading by UCLA coach John Wooden. I have it on a sticky note in my room and sometimes when things get stressful or I need a little kick in the rear for motivation I read it. It helps remind me we all have untapped potential and are capable of enduring as well as focusing on the positives rather than the negatives.
When I first started reading this Blog entry I was not sure what to think. I love tattos and I have 9+, but I have never thought of “invisible ink”. I think that this is a great concept for individuals that do not want to put permant ink on their bodies. I understand that tattoos are
serious and not easily removed, but thats why some of them are so important to people. Most, not all of the time, individuals get real tattoos of things that either mean something to them or of things that are significant in their life, or deal with various situations/stories that they have been faced with in life. I think that yes it takes time to pick out the right one, and tattoos are not for everybody. I’d just like to think if anyone is really serious about their “invisible tattoo” and thats what you believe in, then why not make it a real one? My list of “invisible tattoos” continues to decrease each and everytime they appear on my body permantly.
I think this is a good analogy to use in everyday life. I can imagine a tattoo that I would have on my arm. “How to make today better than the Last” I know it is kinda wordy but it means something to me. What can I do today that is better than yesterday. This can apply to anything your job, relationships, school, anything you can think of. I know I have not done a good enough job of this but it is a process that I can be reminded of everyday.
I would have to agree with Emily. I would want the tattoo Believe as well. You have to believe in yourself before you can trust or believe in others. Believing is another way of saying positive thinking, and we all definitely need some positive thinking all of the time.
I have a tattoo and believe they are a great way to show what you are all about, and what matters most to you. I have a cross on my back and after I have kids, I’m going to put their names within the cross which symbolizes me bringing my family to Christ. It’s something that matters a lot to me and it’s simply a statement of what I’m about.
I think there are some people who truly get tattoos to show what they believe in and what they love. Others get them for no reason and make themselves look ridiculous. I think if you are getting a tattoo for a reason that is important to you then I think they are great.