Navigating Life's Transitions is Important
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Navigating life's transitions is so important and even more important than I thought. Last week I shared these thoughts at the local chapter meeting of the Association for Women in Communications. While there were a few people there who read my blog (thank you), I thought I would highlight the main points for other readers:
- So much emphasis in "retirement planning" is placed on MONEY. Yes, we have to have enough to get us through, but once we have ENOUGH, there is so much more to life!
- Since there are four generations in the workforce, it is important to understand life transitions in order to relate with and influence a variety of age groups.
- The older I get, the more I realize life is a series of transitions.
- We are living in uncharted territory with no life map. The baby boomer generation has a different vision of aging than our parents. But too much emphasis placed on external aging—look younger, botox, plastic surgery of all kinds.
- Most of our life is scripted for us--get married, have children. Elementary, middle school, high school, college. What should life scripts look like when most people spend as many years after a long career as they spent in a career?
- I am on a mission to RETIRE the word RETIREMENT. We are not retiring, but we are moving on. This phase of life is being called: Third Act, Second Half, Mid-life transition, encore phase or encore career.
- After 30 years of teaching at Central College in Pella, I “moved on” so that I can create a life and business in the Des Moines area. I am getting involved in activities that were impossible to me when I worked out of town. But figuring out what you want to do in this next 30 years, is not about having money or being smart. It is about intentional, conscious, decision making and planning. While life does not always go as planned, it helps one not drift through life.
Why is all of this important?
When is mid-life? The average life expectancy in the US is about 80 so 40. So mid-life is sooner than you think.
- People go through life changes—mid life crises usually in their 50s. Empty nests, divorces, people losing jobs in this economy or given incentives to “retire” early, spouses die (we have lost three male friends all in their 50s in the last five years). Death reminds us that life does not last forever. Are we spending our time in ways that matter?
- Rabbi Harold Kushner, author of the book, When Bad Things Happen to Good People and When All You’ve Ever Wanted is Not Enough, said that mid-life is when people change their focus from looking ahead and asking how high can I climb on the ladder to looking behind and asking what difference am I making with my life?
- With transition often comes loss of identity—married now single, parent now empty nester, employed now unemployed or self employed.
- Between 1992 and 2008 substance abuse treatment admissions for those 50 and older more than doubled in the US. That number is expected to grow.
- Older adults accounted for about one of every eight seeking help for substance abuse in 2008. While the 50 plus populations grew by 21% those seeking treatment in 50 plus increased by 70%. Treatment professionals believe the actual number of older people with substance abuses is many times larger than those seeking help. We have had two friends go through treatment programs this past year.
- Family law experts who examine divorce trends at the National Center for Family & Marriage Research state that married partners over 50 divorce at a much higher rate than do married couples generally. Over the past 20 years, they say, the divorce rate for 50-plus couples has approximately doubled, whereas it has actually decreased slightly for America's married population overall.
- Depression. Lost. Despair. Suicide rates among middle aged people are going up. Using data from the National Center for Health Statistics and the U.S. Census Bureau, Idler and her colleagues tracked suicide rates between 1979 and 2005. By 2000, most people ages 40 to 59 were Baby Boomers and the suicide rate started climbing steadily for these middle-age ranges. The researchers found significant increases of more than 2 percent per year for men, and more than 3 percent per year for women, from 1999 to 2005. (By 2005, all those in the middle-age group were baby boomers, defined as those born between 1945 and 1964.)
Thoughts on transitioning
- Have a plan. Similar to when we were planning out daycare. Always have to think ahead. Once I got daycare figured out, where would they go to school and what do to about after school. You can’t start thinking college as a senior in high school. But so many people do not plan for the next phase. My parents: Time to move to a place that offers assisted living. Can’t wait too long. Have to be able to walk in. And if you wait too long, who cares where you go or what services are offered?
- Have as much control in the next phase as possible. Script it out. Network. How to use your creativity. Some professions naturally allow people to stay engaged and involved—artists can continue to do their work. When you are self-employed, no one is going to tell you to stop doing what you are doing. I know a lawyer who took early retirement from the state of Iowa so that she can be a full-time self-employed potter. Professors can read, write, and teach. Peter Drucker the Father of Modern Management was still writing and speaking until he died at age 94. But corporations and governments are cutting costs and people who are vulnerable are people more towards the top who are making more money.
- Metaphor: Imagine yourself in a jungle swinging on vines. It is easier to let go of one vine when you see another vine within reach. Where is that next vine for you? Can you find it now while you are still employed? Actually I understand why people have affairs because most people do not want to be alone!
- Marc Freedman is the author of Encore and The Big Shift: Navigating the New Stage Beyond Mid-Life. Jane Pauley has a segment on the Today Show called My Life Calling. She also writes a column for AARP magazine on how people have discovered their calling or encore career. Even the popular book in its 40th anniversary What Color is your Parachute has a new section at the end titled: Finding Your Mission in Life. We are stronger, healthier, and smarter and living an average of 30 years longer. What are we going to do with this time?
- Bottom-line: Think about your skills and talents and ask yourself how you want to be using them. How do you want to spend your time? What would give you meaning? Pleasure? Joy? How would you know your life mattered?
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