Learning is a never-ending journey. I've learned much from my mentors, from the wise sages in my life. I feel it is important to share and pass along some of what I have learned – and continue to learn. I believe we are all responsible for smoothing the path for those who come after us. And I know that we are all connected and here to support one another.
My purpose is to:
Improve organizational effectiveness through individual development
Improve individual effectiveness through organizational development
Last week I had the opportunity to go hear Brandi Carlilewith an old friend. Even though I did not know Carlile, I was eager to get out of the house because of cabin fever. It has been so cold that I have not gotten out much except to go to work.
It was a great evening. What I did not know, was that Carlile sings a song that I love and appreciate: The Storyand the words reflect so much of sage-ing :
I first heard this song as I was watching an ESPN special about Joe Paterno. It is so touching and makes me always think about the value in growing older and how much we should appreciate people with life experience.
Watch this and tell me what you think. Makes me tear up every time I watch it because it makes me think of Coach Ron Schipper of Central College--a sage and legend.
Most of us think about our legacy at the end of our careers. But I just read Your Leadership Legacyby Robert Galford and Regina Maruca and they advocate the sooner we think about legacy the better. Legacy work is one of the primary components of sage-ing. If we feel as if our life matters and is fulfilled than it we look forward to getting older instead of fighting. We don't worry about wrinkles when we are focused on making a difference.
Galford and Maruca talk about how legacy thinking is forward thinking. We should be always aware of the difference we are making to those around us. With every decision we make or do not make, we are leaving a legacy.
Professional athletes have an advantage in that they are forced to think about retirement at a much earlier age. In doing so, the legacy athletes leave is often a reflection of the stories emphasized by the media.
Kurt Warner just announced his retirement and since he is a local hero people in Iowa paid attention. In fact, Warner said he knows what he wants his legacy to be:
"It's not the way I threw the football, it's not particular games that I won, but that they remember that here's a guy that believed, that worked hard," he said. "Although things didn't always go in his favor, he continued to press through, and with his faith in himself and his faith in God, he was able to accomplish great things."
Warner was stocking shelves in a grocery store when the Iowa Barnstormers discovered him. At that time, he would volunteer time in the elementary schools and my twin sons used to throw the football with him never dreaming that they were playing with a future star of the NFL.
Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner in their book A Leader's Legacy summarize it this way:“The legacy you leave is the life you lead.”Warner is a great story because of the authentic life he led. We can learn from his grace and generosity. He wanted to go out on top and he is doing that. Now it will be fun to see what else he accomplishes with his life.
In a recent New York Times, there was a fascinating article about Carmen Herrera, a painter who is now gaining recognition at age 94. Even though she has been privately painting for more than six decades, she sold her first painting at 89. Her style is considered a minimalist who paints geometric art. Her larger works sell for $30,000 abd one painting even brought her $44,000 to which Herrera said, "I have more money now than I ever had in my life."
But what caught my attention was Herrera's comments that resonate with sage-ing principles. She continues to learn, to create, and to live life to its fullest:
"I do it [art] because I have to do it; it's a compulsion that also gives me pleasure. I never in my life had any idea of money and I thought fame was a very vulgar thing. So I just worked and waited. And at the end of my life, I'm getting a lot of recognition, to my amazement and my pleasure, actually."
This story reminds me of a comment made by a participant in one of my seminars. We were talking about sage-ing and growing in wisdom. A woman spoke up and said that her grandmother figured out how to do this years ago and served as her inspiration. She asked her grandmother where she learned how to live and the response was memorable. Her grandmother told her that throughout her life she always looked for role models (people who were living in healthy and admirable ways) who were about 10 years older than she about every 10 years. So she always had someone leading the way.
How inspiring to read about people such as Herrera who just kept on a healthy path for all of the right reasons. We should all be so fortunate to have our health and to keep moving on down the "path."
Clint Eastwood is a sage. In May, Eastwood turns 80 and he is as active now as ever. He understands the value of continual learning and mixing it up with people of all ages. In his own words:
"I'm always trying to tackle subjects that tax me and make me think. The brain has to be exercised the same as the rest of the body."
He believes the never-too-old-to-learn philosophy is critical at this stage in life. "Follow what you think. You want to do something? Just do it the best you can, whatever that is. I'm not saying everyone make a phenomenal thing. But you can fail on your own terms."
In the interview I read, Eastwood savors life.
"You don't have to rush down the hill. you can walk down. The main things is not how long you're on the planet, but the quality you have while you're here. That was always the only thing that really mattered."
It is almost as if Eastwood has read a book on sage-ing. He intuitively understands the differences between sage-ing and aging.
"My dad was always talking about retiring and sitting next to a stream with a couple of beers in his hand. Sounds like a commercial, but retirement is not for me ... The reason I don't retire is that I learn something new every day. It's about expanding, constantly pushing yourself."
Eastwood is a great example of the importance of exercising the mind and body. Instead of retiring, he realizes that the key to a quality life is to keep learning and pushing oneself at whatever level possible. I would say at 80, Eastwood is inspiring.
We should all be so fortunate. But as pointed out above, there is work involved and the results are worth it.
How come some people understand this naturally and others just don't get it?
I think the answer may be intentional decision making, being awake, and not sleep walking through life.
Meryl Streep is well known. She is the recipient of two Academy Awards as well as 15 Oscar nominations and 23 Golden Globe nominations. This is more than any other actor in the history of either award. But Streep finds the fact that she is still working unbelievable.
In a cover story article in Vanity Fair, Streep said the following:
"It's incredible--I'm 60, and I'm playing the romantic lead in romantic comedies! ... Bette Davis is rolling over in her grave. She was 42 when she did All About Eve, and she was 54 when she did What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?"
When Streep was preparing to be Julia Child in Julie and Julia, she was constantly amazed that when Julia Child's famous book, Mastering the Art of French Cooking, was published Child was almost 50 years old. "So she didn't really become 'Julia Child' until she was 50."
Brigitte Lacombe, French photographer, has taken photos of Streep for more than three decades. She thinks Streep's power comes from fighting the pressures put on by society about aging.
As Streep ages, she refuses to alter her face with cosmetic surgery of Botox. "If you start to do something lie that, it's very hard to stop," said Lacombe. "If you understand that what makes your work good is not the way you look, as you grow older, you take different parts. It's like women in real life who want to hang on to a certain part of their life and to look younger. they miss every other stage of their life. To try to stop the time, to look young--it's such a futile, absurd way to look at life in general, and it's very detrimental to their work.
They may think that it prolongs their work, and maybe they might get one or two parts more, but their face is their tool, and also what they understand about life, what they go through in life. If you alter it, you deprive yourself of some of what you need to do your work well."
Sage-ing is all about appreciating where you are in life and making the most of it. The journey of becoming a sage involves accepting life and reflecting on life experience in order to gain wisdom to pass on to others in the form of a legacy. Being comfortable in one's skin is always the best way to live.
I have seen celebrity speakers who could barely smile because of alterations to their faces. In fact, one person kept putting her hands in front of her face when she laughed because I think she was embarrassed that she no longer looked like the video being shown of her from past movies.
While I am sure it is tempting to want to halt the signs of time, sage-ing is about acceptance and appreciation. This reminds me of a quote remembered from a long time ago (went something such as this):
"Face lines remind me that I showed some expressions during my life."
As Streep concluded:
"As there begins to be less time ahead of you, you want to be exactly who you are ..."
At the workshop I attended at the Omega Institute last summer with Pema Chodran, we spent a lot of time exploring the implications of fear. Pema talked about "leaning into our fears" when our natural instinct is to move away from or to deny them. Learning to overcome fear seems to be an important skill in order to not let our dark side or shadow side take dominate our behaviors.
A good example of overcoming fear was an interview with Glenn Close. She talked about how she was frightened over the words schizophrenia, depression, and bipolar and she recognized the power those words had over her. Since she has mental illness in her family, she knew that if she wanted to help she would have to learn to say those words fearlessly out loud.
To overcome her fears, Glenn started volunteering at Fountain House, a community in New York City for people with all levels of mental illness. "I got to look into their eyes, stand next to them, and work with them. The more I learned, the less I feared."
Now Glenn, along with a groups, is launching a campaign called Bring Change 2 Mind (Bringchange2mind.org) in order to bring awareness to this issue and "to connect people to whatever they need: help, community, education, or a chance to join one of the organizations."
Glenn concluded by saying that she hopes it "will give people the courage to talk about mental illness, to lose their fear of the words, to conquer shame and stigma." By leaning into her fears, she is overcoming them.
First we need to recognize our fears and then we need to try to lean into them to overcome them. When we do this, we are healthier in all aspects of our lives.
The other day I caught a clip on MSNBC Morning Joe with the director of Heath Ledger's last film just released titled The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus. He talks about how wise Ledger was at such a young age. He describes how Ledger was trying to learn everything about the industry as fast as he could.
"Heath was clever, talented, and nice at the same time. He was a walking cliche ... It was as if he had an old soul inside of him. He didn't die young. It was as if he was 100s of years old."
This reminded me that we really are made up of our life experiences. We don't have to be old to be wise and the old are not necessarily guaranteed to be wise.
What are the differences?
What would make Ledger so wise at such a young age?
What do some people become old and not wise?
Apparently, Heath Ledger was a youthful sage. It makes me sad that he is no longer with us.
Since one of the keys to aging gracefully or sage-ing is intergenerational relationships, once a year my husband and I like to invite a "bunch for brunch." But what is different about this event is that we intentionally invite a mix of ages to make it more interesting.
We all can learn from others--both older and younger--and we have something to teach others. Everyone seems so appreciative that we are mixing it up. People who have more life experience than us regardless of our age can teach us so much. As we all know, hindsight is 20/20 so listening to their stories enriches our lives in many ways.
It has become a tradition that we will continue. We just ask each other who we would like to learn from, listen to, and include in the bunch. Then we value the time together. Reaching out and making something like this happen takes an investment of time, but the dividends are worth it.
Just think of a group of people (modified think tank) who you may not even know that well, but you would like to get to know better. Then plan something simple and invite them over. See what happens.
This week I had the chance to spend the evening with Maya Angelou (well and about 8,000 people from all walks of life) at Drake University. For me, this was what it feels like to be in the presence of a sage. This was the second time I have seen her in Des Moines and she was much more frail than about five years ago.
Dr. Angelou (as she prefers to be called) came to the stage using a cane and sat down behind a microphone without the use of a podium. She spoke for a good hour without the use of one note. A few times she grabbed one of her books from which she read a poem, but she really did not need the books because she knew her work by heart.
It was clear that she is a great storyteller. It was as if we were all gathered at her feet to hear her words of wisdom. Dr. Angelou spoke of "rainbows in the clouds" as a metaphor to remind us of our mentors and teachers, the people who have helped us along the way.
She had a wonderful sense of humor and it was clear that the audience, which consisted of people of all ages and walks of life, was mesmerized. She was grateful to the people who have helped her. As her books have so well documented, Dr. Angelou had a disturbing and horrific childhood. She reminded us that she never imagined she would accomplish what she has in her life. But she had "rainbows in her clouds" who helped her see possibilities and remain hopeful.
Dr. Angelou was sharing the wisdom she has distilled from her life experience and passing it on to us. She challenged us to "be a rainbow in someone's cloud."
Jann's Note: She was a sage for sure. It was a wonderful evening being in her presence.
About a year ago, I set out on a mission to change the name of AARP. Even though AARP officially changed to using the acronyms and not the words, most people know what the letters represent: American Association of Retired Persons. My motivation was to have a name that better reflects people 50 and over. Most baby boomers do not want to refer to themselves as "retired persons."
While I did not have much luck, I think I was onto something. Elderhostel, a not-for-profit organization targeted for people with years of life experience and time to travel, has decided to change their name in hopes of attracting younger travelers. The new name is "Exploritas"which actually has a Spanish ring to it. While the organization will still cater to mature adults interested in life-long learning, Exploritas will be open to people of all ages.
I am excited about this change because it reflects sage-ing concepts. Intergenerational learning is an important aspect of becoming a sage and growing in wisdom. People of all ages can learn from each other. While I love the word "sage," many people have a negative view of "elder." Yet, becoming an elder is different than getting older.
Are you getting older or are you becoming an elder?
What is the difference?
What do these terms mean to you?
The goal is to keep learning and I applaud Elderhostel for realizing that it is important to appeal to baby boomers.
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