The Loneliness Epidemic

Another book is out that documents loneliness in America:  The Lonely American:  Drifting Apart in the Twenty-First Century by Jacqueline Olds and Richard Schwartz.  This book continues to reinforce studies by sociologists at Duke and the University of Arizona and the book by Robert Putnam titled Bowling Alone. 

The basic premise of all of this work is that the new communication technologies--IM, Internet, cell phones, text messaging--are hollow means of connecting and most people feel isolated and are starving for intimacy.  The study at Duke and Arizona found that most adults only have two people they can talk to about the most important subjects in their lives.  While people might feel connected, most relationships are acquaintances and not really friends. 

This reminds me of the Facebook terminology where we often invite acquaintances as "friends."  Most of the people are not friends as we think of the term. 

Would they pick up your kids from daycare? 

Bring you chicken soup when you are ill? 

Be there when you need to talk about something serious? 

There are many reasons why people feel isolated even in this age of being technologically connected.  People are working and commuting longer hours and have little time for the kinds of external activities that could lead to deeper relationships.  There is also an increase in single-person households and many people do not want to admit they feel lonely.

Relationships are an important part of life and become even more important as we gain life experiences. 

The question becomes what can we do to maintain meaningful relationships? 

What can we do to create connections with people we can trust and on whom we can depend? 

Face time is more critical than Facebook. 

My main mentor does not want me to email him.  He says that if I really want to communicate with him, I need to pick up the phone.  He wants to hear my voice.  Maybe this is a reminder that we should make more of an effort to communicate with the whole person.