Jann's Blog

One More Thing from Peter Hedges

Image by Krishna De via Flickr

One more thing. This comment took place during the Q and A session.   While I can't remember the question,  Hedges said that his favorite question that his mother used to ask him and now he asks of others:  What are you making?  What are you creating?  He said that it is so hard to make something and so easy to destroy.  And he described "making something" in a very broad way:

Are you making a family? 

Are you making a business?

Are you making cookies?

Are you making a home?

Are you making healthy relationships and friendships?

He said that the great part about writing is that he is making something.  So he asked us to think about what we are making or creating.  And he said that we should be making something rather than tearing something down or apart.

As a leader, are you creating a place where people want to work?

As a person, are you creating relationships with people you care about and who care about you?

What are you making?

I am thinking about what I am making. 

Wise advice for a relatively young man. 

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Peter Hedges on Life

Cover via Amazon

A few weeks ago, I had the chance to hear Peter Hedges talk  in Des Moines as part of the Des Moines Public Library's AViD author series. He is often remembered best for his novel and screenplay "What's Eating Gilbert Grape," but he also wrote the Academy Award-nominated screenplay for the movie "About a Boy" and the movie "Pieces of April" for which he wrote and directed.

Hedges was in town reading from his latest book "The Heights" which is a novel about Brooklyn Heights, his current neighborhood.  As he was interviewed for this presentation, he said several things that made me think about life so I thought I would share them with you and then I will explain why his comments struck me. 

"Life is messy.  The messes I've made or walked into have been some of the most important periods of my life.  I really love to write about people who are having problems.  It is the gas of writing."

Hedges is married and the father of two teenagers, but said that he wanted to "write about a great marriage and how fragile and yet how resilient a great marriage can be." 

"As I get older, I'm aware how lives can change.  So I wanted to explore a marriage where they stopped trying to tell each other everything and what happens when secrets are held."

He said that he remembers fondly the advice of his father, a former Episcopal priest who is now 85.  "Sheep lose their way one blade of grass at a time.  They way you don't get lost is look up."

And Hedges said, "For me, the question I ask in my own life and am asking in the book is:  What is enough?  How much do we need?  I think that is pertinent now, when we can't have all what we want."

Jann's Note:  Hedges calls the book a "wake-up story."  Learning how to age in this youth-oriented society takes a wake-up call.  I have come to believe that couples need to be on similar paths or they are likely to grow apart.  And we need to "look up" or be awake, alert, and present in order to pay attention to what is happening.  Drifting through life is easy.  Making intentional choices based on thoughtful reflection is hard--but makes all of the difference. 

The journey to becoming a sage and to not get lost is to "look up."  Here's to looking up! 

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From a Distance

Music is powerful.  There are songs that take you back in time.  You can remember who you were with, what you were thinking, and where you were at the time when the song was popular.  There are a few songs that just stop me in my tracks.  Every time I hear the song I have to stop and think about the words. 

From a Distance, especially sung by Bette Midler, makes me think.  In fact, I use this song in my diversity course because from a distance so many things make sense.  When she sings, "what is all this fighting for," ....I have to stop and think.  Do you believe God is watching us from a distance?  I do. 

Where in the world is Jann Freed?

Just like Matt Lauer, I have been a world away and unable to blog.  For a week in June, I was part of a church delegation to El Salvador.  This trip left me with numerous images, thoughts, impressions, and insights that I will be sharing in various blog posts when the spirit moves me.

If there are regular readers out there, I wanted you to know where I have been.  It will take me months to analyze the experience and I plan to use my blog to help me in this process.  Thanks in advance for listening. 

The Secret

It seems as if everyone is willing to share secrets with us these days. The Secret, the popular book that continues to dominate the best selling lists shared “the secret” with us. I wanted to read it just to figure out what was different about it. What is the secret of life?

My conclusion was that it was not different and that the theme or “the secret” has been written by many people and told by even more. It was not even research based which for me is a clear sign that someone had learned the secret of marketing! While marketing may sound easy, this author had figured out how to be endorsed by Oprah. Now that is a secret I want to know for sure. I will give the author credit for figuring out this secret.

Can someone share the secret of how to get discovered by Oprah?  Please send me the secret. Thanks.

Into the Wild

This past week I rented the movie Into the Wild.  Even though I did not have a clue what the movie was about, I meant to see it in the theater and never got around to it.  My sons had read the book and like it.  The best words I can use to describe it are haunting and intriguing.  In fact, I can't stop thinking about it.

Based on a true story, "Alex" (Christopher McCandless,23, smart, and right out of college) is on a trip to find himself and live life by his own rules.  All along his journey, everyone he meets seems to become attached to him because of his charismatic personality, sense of curiosity, and genuine kindness.

There is one particular scene that is moving and earned Hal Holbrook an Oscar nomination for supporting actor in his role as Mr. Franz, an older man who could be Alex's grandfather.  Alex and Mr. Franz befriend each other, yet challenge one another.  Alex gets Mr. Fraz to follow him by climbing a steep hill. 

To Alex, Mr. Franz is older, set in his ways, and stuck in his own routines.  Alex tells Mr. Franz that he needs to get back into the world and to make radical changes in his life because the core of the spirit comes from new experiences.  Alex says, "You're wrong if you think joy comes from human relationships."

Meanwhile, Mr. Franz who has become quite attached to Alex and even says that he would adopt him, says to Alex, "There is something bigger out there than ourselves.  You seem to be fine if we call him God.  When you forgive, you love. When you love, God's light shines on you."  Right then the light shines through the clouds and they start laughing--deep belly laughs.

It is sad when they part, but Alex continues on his journey.  I won't disclose the end of the movie, but to say that at the end, Alex discovers the following:  "Happiness is only real when shared." 

My conclusion is that Mr. Franz is a sage.  He became a teacher and mentor to Alex and Alex thrived in the give and take of the relationship.  They saw value in each other and enriched each other's lives.  In the end, Alex realized the wisdom that had been shared with him and was a better person because of it. 

I can't stop thinking about the lessons embedded into this movie based on a true story. 

 

Once

My favorite movie this year was an Irish movie called Once.  In fact, I saw it twice, bought the soundtrack for myself and someone else, and bought the DVD.  I was on cloud nine last night when one of the songs won an Oscar for best original song:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ck_c40EdLFE and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XzQRuTwaFI8&feature=related.  Although "Falling Slowly" won the Oscar, my favorite song from the movie is "If You Want Me" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5aYcsksJ0s

It is a simple story about two people who accidentally meet and share their love of music.  I consider it a love story because they become the best of friends.  Even their acceptance speeches were worth watching and listening to their message.  For me, they were the models of authenticity--so real.  In the end, what do we really want from a partner:  someone to listen about us, care about us, and with whom we share some common interests.

The movie ends in a way that makes me think they could make a sequel.  I think there will be a Twice. Once is not enough from this dynamic duo.

Celebrity of the Year

Again, what does it say about our society that Britney Spears is the celebrity of the year?  What has she done to get this kind of attention and for what are we honoring her?  This is based on USA TODAY's Celebrity heat Index and it reflects weekly gossip magazines, TV ratings and Web traffic to see which celebrities were getting the most attention.  Britney had almost twice as many points as the second place person of Angelina Jolie. 

According to the USA TODAY, "What fascinates America about Britney is that it's a very sad story.  America is watching to see how this story ends, and they like a happy ending."  While this may be true, it says what many people in society value.  Are these the stories that should dominate our attention?

What about the people who are working hard to make a difference in the lives of others?  What about people who are saving lives?  Fighting for our freedom?  Fighting for their own lives because of illness?  As Buddha said, "All that we are arises with our thoughts."

What are you thinking about?

I Wonder as I Wonder ...

Yesterday we were in the airport on our way to a ski vacation in Utah.  As we were sitting in the busy terminal in Denver, I had the time to just watch people.  Several thoughts went through my mind such as the movie Terminal with Tom Hanks.  He gets trapped in an airport terminal and shows us what he has to do to survive. 

But as I sat there, I observed all kinds of people on cell phones wondering: 

• Who are they talking to and what are they talking about? 

Numerous people were walking around and I wondered: 

• Where are they going?  Why are they going there?  Who will be waiting for them at the other end? 

People were reading and I wondered: 

• What were they reading?  Why did they choose to read that? 

There were people just sitting there and I wondered: 

• What are they thinking about?  What are they going to do as a result of their thoughts? 

We were at a holiday program the other night and the choir sang I Wonder as I Wonder and it made me realized, the sense of wonder is powerful because it reinforces the mystery of life.  It keeps life interesting.

Enchanted

A week ago we went to the movie Enchanted on a whim.  As empty nesters, at first we felt odd going to a Disney movie, but we loved it.  It truly is enchanting.  There is something to enjoy for all ages and I was intrigued with the whole experience.  It is such a "feel good" movie that I wanted to blog about it.  As I was watching it, I thought of these questions:  Why can't most people be that nice? What does it say about society that we find the behavior of the princess to be the exception and not the rule? 

Her spirit was so positive and up lifting.  Why is this not the norm?  What can be learned from this movie?  Why can't we act as if positive things get done as a result of a positive attitude?  It was the perfect example of positive mental attitude.  And we love happy endings.  What's wrong with that?  I give it five stars.  What do you think?